november 11th, 2021

compartmentalizing my kindness & gentility into designated spaces of expression instead of making it universal. not the way of it...

november 20th, 2021

the "person i really particularly especially love" should certainly not be the compartmentalized manifestation of love in my life, but
a mere extension of a general reality that it is rewarding to love people. i think. i do remember seeing something about a cultural
de-emphasis of non-romantic forms of love, creating the impression among people that romance is the only way to feel loved

if love feels like it is playing out in the shape of any prefabricated structure for itself, or in the shape of
any sort of narrative ("finally being loved," for instance), rather than being a completely extemporaneous
ongoing expression of the people involved, it is probably not real. i think. or at least, what is there
that is real is being smothered under the structures & has perhaps never even been glimpsed