may 25th, 2021

thinking about maybe before people really understood the autonomic nervous system it must have been more
enchanting that... like if someone hugged someone they loved & got a tingling feeling all over. was there
no causation to dissect? was it just the undeniable nature of such an interaction, & the undeniable nature
of people? irreducible, fundamental, like. that gravity theory from uhh Aristotle? someone. like a ball
just has a ground essence that attracts it to the ground. was there no biological mechanism to treat like
a shady third party who each person consults when they're away from each other? "a cloaked figure
told me if i hug them it'll hook me up with a neat tingling sensation"... "please, provoke this response
that i appreciate but never asked for"... the response being jadedly viewable as currency?

i guess its like i decided a while ago, everything that has meaning just has a physical medium,
light objectively contacts a blind person's eyes, meaning still surrounds someone with brain
chemistry that's blinding them to it, part of love is a nervous system response

september 30th, 2021

wait you mean to tell me that not everyone reads the wikipedia pages about serotonin & oxytocin then spends their
teenage years & some of their early twenties incessantly reducing their experience to those things in semi-self-belittlingly
semi-humorous ways like mocking how they're under the thumb of the chemicals or whatever? people just make
their way deep into life without acquiring that psychological framing? that's what you're saying?

september 13th, 2022

a person reads about neurochemicals, & about a plethora of other things from which they infer thousands of years of human
beings falling in love. this leads them to make the unconscious mistake of branding love as a predefined "human experience"
placed on offer for them by reality, something repeating & commutative like the blueprint for the human hand, & something
they desire to be ushered through by a kind of natural momentum, a typified experience they would like to consume

in contrast, one can imagine their life playing out such that it simply happens, with a frame of reference all
to itself, not bogged down by the clumsy trivia of its history or its physical mechanisms, occupying its own
self-contained universe of personal particularities - unaware of its endless tessellation across human lives

(&, insofar as there even is a "tessellation," it is only the tessellation of "love"
as a ponderous general model used as shorthand for a boundless array of diversities &
particularities that might be, to some extent, inappropriate to reduce to one monolithic term)