january 1st, 2022

i would hypothetically like to feel madly in love with a person, just once... because i am stupid. well, i have skipped straight to
a very stable & unassuming & asserted-to-be-indefinite love - often likened to an elderly couple on rocking chairs. i bet some people
would be so grateful to just skip straight to here! i am often afraid of the idea that i am not in love - that i am desperate enough
to retain a friendship that i am willing to don a tether of romantic exclusivity - forever precluding any hypothetical
realization of the being-madly-in-love that i want (that i want because i am stupid)