january 1st, 2022

i would hypothetically like to feel madly in love with a person, just once... because i am stupid. well,
i have skipped straight to a very stable & unassuming & asserted-to-be-indefinite love - often likened to
an elderly couple on rocking chairs. i bet some people would be so grateful to just skip straight to here!
i am often afraid of the idea that i am not in love - that i am desperate enough to retain a friendship
that i am willing to don a tether of romantic exclusivity - forever precluding any hypothetical
realization of the being-madly-in-love that i want (that i want because i am stupid)