< - ii

established january 4th, 2022


January 2nd, 2022


https://youtu.be/9Rix5ArAwCU
living off of this like rationed biscuits on a lifeboat until the 90 hours of unreleased john maus material is freed from slugbug's google drive


January 3rd, 2022


the word "good" plays a part in dichotomies with both "bad" & "evil." does this imply that virtuous actions & general desirability are consistently unified, while evil is not necessarily bad & badness is not necessarily evil? wut does it all mean?


January 4th, 2022


i have given my succulent two shot glasses of water. i hope that that is an appropriate monthly amount... it is sedum adolphii. the wet dirt smells very good


January 6th, 2022


last night i slept sideways on my bed cause it was cluttered with stuff. i briefly dreamed it was clear of stuff & i could stretch out. then i briefly woke up & was like awww


jake tobins sped up voice on food updates sounds like ariel pinks normal voice


my dad got me a sweater for christmas but when i sweat in it it starts to smell like... fish, or like a lake


January 7th, 2022


hope it's ok if the very tips of all the succulent leaves are kind of brown. i would be decently sad if it died...


"This trailing succulent forms miniature golden rosettes, with leaves shaped like footballs. Its tips turn red when exposed to lots of sun."


the backs of all my front teeth don't consistently feel smooth to my tongue anymore . i am convinced that a week or two where i kept accidentally falling asleep before brushing my teeth a second time for the day had some sort of substantial accelerated effect on my tooth enamel decay. really not feeling all that ok about it


wigging me out that all the letters are named after themselves


January 8th, 2022


from merely for the art of it to obsessed with the art of it?


January 9th, 2022


i like everlong by foo fighters


January 10th, 2022


tonight i finish nearly spending literally a month trying to listen through wee tam & the big huge one time & getting distracted every time


i try to move the succulent between my room & the living room to maximize sunlight. my windowsill is occupied by tea boxes but i rearranged them to four stacks of five, & a fifth "stack" of one, so that the succulent has an unprecarious one to be placed on


my eyes are all watery. maybe im rubbing trace amounts of perfume in them when i rub them


aaahhh they stung so bad i cried out as i was going to get the rag to wipe them with


my dad is considering attempting to donate a kidney to a close friend of his 0_0


i might have it in me to display a hesitancy to go out for a nice walk, just because my phone bill hasn't been paid... i might lash out & insist that the bricks i may enclose myself with are provided with an abstracted sense of malice, but it is in my own absurdity that i stack them up & glue them together


periods of merely adding decimal places to oneself


January 11th, 2022


i got briefly woken up in the middle of the night by a chorus of screaming cats outside my window


January 12th, 2022


i think i might get an extra $1,270 grant this semester even though i'm only taking 7 hours, since i signed up for enough to qualify as full-time but one of them got cancelled because of low enrollment... it'd be a very baffling output of all the bureaucracy leading up to such a disbursement but i would roll with it


January 13th, 2022


pom pom lipstick really is perfect


i looove when a tea is sour


January 14th, 2022


i should make boiling the water for my tea a mechanism for dispersing a kind of meditation throughout the day, i.e. i flick the switch & stay in the kitchen instead of coming back to my laptop, & try to close my eyes & not think until i hear the click


i order perfume samples


i think i get a sense of... instinctual revulsion from the Tao Te Ching, even though it doesn't deserve it... i think it is a book i can like! but where the feeling comes from is maybe a vague recognition of similarity between it & like... corny new age aphorisms that naturally have a similarity, because they'd be like, weird refractions of eastern philosophy, you know


January 15th, 2022


im silly


la stanza delle bambole feels kind of important to me


it is just a moment in time. maybe the next ones will become moments in time. smells are like that. i am looking forward to the bon bon trio. although one can wonder if it will suffer for not being in conjunction with things like bambole was. well, unless it becomes... in conjunction with things. i'm not a psychic!


bambole is my friend's encouragement to purchase it, this cluster of january 7th doll pictures, & this album while waiting for my pal's bus. each of these three things is also more things youtube.com/watch?v=x4H7FtKsPzw


January 16th, 2022


i have new music to explore & i'm just listening to 69 love songs again like a psychopath


i like that i am myself & that i have my personhood that i get to control such that even if i couldn't affect or sway anyone else in any particular direction i can still charge voraciously myself at any given direction that i suspect could prove beneficial for making myself as good as i can


can't get over the phrase "bon bon"


taking rule of thirds pictures is endlessly satisfying to me


all the dead skin scratching & hair-plucking & teeth-clacking & bangs-brushing. there's a lot of tensions unfolding around my facial area


love disrupts borders, routines, & antiseptic qualities, & gets dirt everywhere, i think


i'm always standing on one leg at my laptop, with the other foot planted on that leg like i'm a flamingo. the weight is always on my right foot, & it gets pretty sore at times


January 17th, 2022


every dog has its thorn


in the future, every dog will get fifteen minutes of its day


people talk to me in similar ways a lot which suggests i either gravitate towards people who talk in those ways or i have elements that persistently create the inclination to talk to me in those ways. i like it


January 18th, 2022


the parts of this song where his syllables are synced with like... horn hits, & it's the auditory equivalent of staring straight into a flashlight


January 20th, 2022


about to dual steep teas...


January 21st, 2022


keeping one's corneas beautiful


i don't know what greasy hair looks like. i frequently get worried that my hair is at a point of looking like greasy hair, but i look at it, & it just looks like hair, so i don't know...


January 23rd, 2022


need more songs that use horns in a similar way to... kate bush's sat in your lap & talking heads' life during wartime


deviled eggs (pronounced like "reviled eggs")


January 24th, 2022


looking forward to first radio class meeting of the semester today...


the first of the bon bon trio... it smells quite a lot like fruity pebbles!


the second is the best - a bubblegum type smell that feels to me like it represents clean bedsheets


the third... hits me more like a scented candle than perfume. maybe it is inane to compare it to an entire other class of variously scented thing. but that it hits me more like a candle is, i think, not in its favor. but it is more vanilla-y, & chalky like candles will feel


January 25th, 2022


aaahhh, school thing now is that, during break, i am kind of endlessly burning myself out with a constant internal pressure to do curatorial processes, or read things, or listen to things, & now when the semester starts, all my academic tasks are only additions to the general cluster. there is little difference of feeling between being in or out of classes, only i have to really steel myself to prioritize the ones with school consequences


i am reading an intensely boring document


January 26th, 2022


imagine a medical worker at a city council hearing about mask mandates going "now, don't even get me wrong, i hate these masks, they stink, like fish & rotten meat, but i wear them regardless because i know it's what is needed to keep people safe"


January 27th, 2022


the kettle has two clicks when it's done. the first is a quiet preliminary click. the second, immediately after, is the actual click of the switch flipping. the preliminary click always piques my attention, so that my eyes always snap open precisely with the second click